14 Comments
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Amit Sahai's avatar

At times its healthy to let dying and decaying plants and relationship wither, but without brooding or loosing sleep over it. It is easier said than done. An expressive essay.....keep writing. All the best.

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Doel's avatar

Smriti, hugs and love 💖💖 such a poignant essay, and it wouldn't have been easy at all to write.

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Chitra Kalyani's avatar

Hello. I loved your piece. Thank you. I must admit, I wanted to read more about the instances of confrontation - simply because I am going through a similar phase and wondering about friendships and how best to confront.

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Smriti Iyer's avatar

Thanks for reading Chitra ! I am not sure I still have an answer to what the best approach to confrontation is. I’m just trying it out to see what sticks and so far I haven’t had a successful one because I let it fester to a point of no repair so I’m just trying to be more mindful, identifying the people who I want in my life and making the effort to tell those people what’s bothering me about our dynamic And moving from there. I hope that helps !

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Chitra Kalyani's avatar

Thank you Smriti for your thoughtful reply. I've toyed with the idea of having an essay/book/workshop titled 'Difficult Conversations'. Maybe soon! Your piece is definitely an inspiration.

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a moving towards's avatar

I echo a lot with the piece and this thread of conversation. Thank you Smriti for writing and bringing gardens and friendships together. And thank you Chitra for bringing in 'difficult conversations'. I feel sometimes there are also lines which blur confrontation, conversation, and letting go. How do we do that difficult conversation with ourselves too then.? Thank you both:)

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Chitra Kalyani's avatar

Definitely alternatives i didn’t think of - to let it be, or to have that conversation with oneself.. hmm. Food for thought. Thank you for that!

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Shreya's avatar

Smriti this is amazing. So beautiful and poignant, powerful and resonant. I felt many words and feelings right down to my bones, especially as someone who gives and gives and gives herself in friendships. Thank you.

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Kriti Awasthi's avatar

This was beautiful Ms. Iyer. (Because I still love calling you that). Also, thank you for giving me the vocabulary to pinpoint those gross white creatures with yellow blood - Aphids. Your writing always brings a heartwarming smile and sukoon.

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Smriti Iyer's avatar

Thank you for silently reading me and finally commenting ❤️

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Ratna. Raman's avatar

Let the aphids come and go. Let the ants out...and if they come back ..you can send them out. The thing is..there is always rot..and more so when you take your eyes away...but hope, green, leaf, flower and fruit grow in its midst..in spite of and because of....Lovely piece Smriti...

Hones are also like diving boards...places to launch off form and then return to recharge....

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Lekha's avatar

Made me think of raw thoughts that most avoid or dont know how to Express. This is a special one.

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Subramaniam Iyer's avatar

Excellent piece of writing (as usual) and everything stated clearly and precisely.. yes thats life old connections fade and new persons enter one's life.. new work.. new places.. new people,, new ideas.. but our foundations are from home and family and school (good and bad learnings) .. and then changes.. the inevitable in life come by.. all a learning process at times we wish we could stop learning and not keep dealing with change haha.... priorities change in lives .. new partners new babies all take up time for old friends but we should carry on without feeling insecure and lonely .. remember even those with partners and babies also feel insecure and lonely whenever they have time to deal with their own emotions !!!

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Apoorva's avatar

It feels like such a tender, loving piece. Like it can almost be a gorgeous song as well.

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